Thursday, June 5, 2008

Whitey Saga Gate XII...or as it turns out a little research actually uncovers yet more nothing...

5th of june 2008 - Our hero Larry the lips today made it pretty clear to everyone that despite an incredible lack of evidence, an incredible lack of credible sources, an incredible amount of backpedaling and an incredible lack of any actual substance (Substance, that is, other than whatever shit he could slap together and make up as he went along) It was still incredibly true FACT that the Michelle Obama "Whitey" tape was indeed out there. A tape that is possibly even more devastating than a million pairs of Reverend Wrights dirty whites (hah! what a racist!). Even Barack Obama's telling him he was full of bunk wasn't enough!

So what about the television station that covered the event? Surely THEY would have a tape and surely THEY would be able to come forward with the evidence to prove that this terrible day in our history actually happened? Yes, i know Hillbuzz said the event was too small for mainstream media to cover, but as it turns out, not so much. In fact ABC 7 covered the little event in which Bill Clinton, Howard Dean, John Kerry, Jesse Jackson, John Edwards Bill "Motherfucking" Cosby and a host of community and business leaders attended.

So lets get onto them already! Alas! according to Larry The Lips -
"How about efforts to check the video files of Chicago TV stations? Stymied. The local ABC station says they will only give up a video if there is a subpoena."
Did they?

Well...apparently not so much. Joseph Cannon at Cannonfire as it turns out has been ON the case. He has actually done a little bit of what people in the reality based community like to call credible "RESEARCH". Now he's by no means one of Larry's terrible Obamatron Kool Aid Masses bent on the destruction of No Quarter, indeed quite the opposite, he himself even says -
"When I began this quest, in the early A.M., I was propelled by partisan enthusiasm..."
So we can be safe in the knowledge that hopefully he too hasn't been taken by the Obama Body Snatchers sent to confuse us with dis information. Surely we can take his information at face value yes?

Unfortunately in a valiant effort to track down the tape through official channels, well, it's not that he was stopped by Larry's apparent need for a subpeona, it was that in fact they don't recall Michelle Obama actually speaking there...let alone having video footage of it -
"ABC 7’s Karen Jordan and Cheryl Burton emceed the 2004 Rainbow-Push Women’s Luncheon. Other employees of ABC 7 attended along with hundreds of Chicago area civic, professional and media representatives. No one recalls Michelle Obama speaking at this luncheon and our archived video does not show Michelle Obama."
But...but...the TAPE!!! THE SOURCES!! LARRY HAS SOURCES!!!
"While ABC News did cover the entire event, they did not keep the raw footage for very long. The only bits they retained were the brief clips intended for use on the news that night. The clips showed speakers Shoshana Johnson and Jesse Jackson Sr. (I questioned the ABC News representative carefully on this point.)
AH HA!!! FUCK YES!! HERE IT COMES...
"However, we have no reason to doubt the integrity of Jordan and Burton. We must trust their recollections."
...FUCK YOU CANNONFIRE! The fuck would you know?!
It's not looking good for our hero at ALL! What dread universe IS this!?
"So, this day began with excitement and ended in perplexity. I'm glad to have tracked down the eyewitnesses -- otherwise, the HillBuzz version of events might have lingered for days or weeks or months."
Well you did a lot more than Larry the lips. Though i'm sure a little set back like talking to ACTUAL witnesses who attended the conference will stop him from pushing the mysteriously detailed Hillbuzz/Johnson version of events. Remember "THEY ANSWER TO NO ONE!"
"And yet -- if a tape exists, it almost certainly was not taken at the event described by HillBuzz! So just where did HillBuzz get those references to Africa and black-on-black crime?"
Where indeed! Might i suggest the warm dark recesses of someones nether regions is the first place we should look?

COULD THIS POSSIBLY MEAN IT'S BACK TO SQUARE ONE FOR OUR HERO?!

Whitey Saga Gate XI...or Barack Obama said it's a load of bunk therefore it MUST be true...

June 5th 2008 4:58pm- Ben Smith at Politico reports that when asked on the campaign plane about "THAT TAPE", Senator Obama says take your bullshit and shove it.
“We have seen this before. There is dirt and lies that are circulated in e-mails and they pump them out long enough until finally you, a mainstream reporter, asks me about it,” Obama said to the McClatchy reporter during a press conference aboard his campaign plane. “That gives legs to the story. If somebody has evidence that myself or Michelle or anybody has said something inappropriate, let them do it.”
But our hero Flowbee isn't taking a lack of evidence, unsubstantiated rumour from third hand sources, an inconsistent ever changing story and a call of bullshit from Senator Obama sitting down!

I mean dude...not even Michelle Malkin is touching this one!

But clearly to anyone with a wisened head for this sort of thing, if you add all these incredible "flowbee facts" together it equals THE TAPE EXISTS PEOPLE!!
"If someone was accusing my wife of saying something racist that was not true, and you asked me in public, I would say emphatically and clearly, “it is not true.” So what is Barack’s problem."
Yeah! What the fuck IS his problem?! I mean it's not like he's got anything to do like running for President or anything. What, he doesn't have time to confront every single piece of bullshit rumour mongering the internet throws his way? What am i, chopped liver?! VALIDATE ME BARACK!!! VALIDATE MEEEE!!!
"But when a politician tap dances on nuance–Baby it is true. My sources have not backed off. They maintain they have a tape and will drop it on the Dems in the fall. Now if Barack said, “No, and hell no” I would be wondering about my sources. But he punted. He went for the weasel word. The non-denial denial."
But a couple of days ago didn't you tell us that the Obama Campaign was telling reporters that any rumours of the "THE TAPE" was a “scurrilous lie”? That sounds pretty definitive to me?

Anyway Flowb, somehow i doubt very much you would actually get a little thing called nuance. Like for example the beginning of his response where without saying it he said "This is a load of bullshit and thats my final answer".

Though if he actually HAD come out and said in a not so nuanced way "No and hell no!" you'd no doubt be interpreting it as an "extraordinary freakout" in which he is clearly SCARED because he knows the tape is real and that it's coming down the pipe. Which IS it Larry?!
"It also is curious that the Obama folks put out the word that Michelle didn’t say “WHITEY”. Nope, according to them she said, “WHY DID HE.” Hmmmm. Why would you put that out if the recording of the event did not exist? Then you have the frantic scrubbing of Trinity websites."
And yet still no evidence that the "Obama folks" put out this word at all. Just yours. Which...i gotta say isn't exactly convincing me right now. Add to that that it looks like the whole "why'd he" meme started as a pretty lame joke...and your claim is even less credible. Yeesh. Won't SOMEONE cut this guy a break!?
"How about efforts to check the video files of Chicago TV stations? Stymied. The local ABC station says they will only give up a video if there is a subpoena."
Er...did they? Where? Link? Evidence? Not even a plausible blog entry in which you follow this up? Guess not...
"So, sure looks to me that there a recording of Michelle’s racist rant exists in the hands of folks working to help elect McCain."
Well if by "sure" you mean "it looks like a steaming fresh lincoln log pulled from your ass" then i would have to agree.
"But if you call what he said a denial then you yourself are in a state of (denial that is)."
Man i love it when he tries to "snap a Z" at the world! Take THAT naysayers! It's about as natural and convincing as John Mccain hammering home "thats not...change...WE can believe in...heh heh heh heh heh."

Whitey Saga Gate X...or back AWAY from the bullshit...

June 4th 2008 11:07pm - Flowbee NO!! In yet another attempt to convince the universe that he actually hasn't opened up a can of stupid and sicked it on himself, Larry the lips opens up a can of whoopass instead on "illiterate trolls devoid of comprehension skills".

SKAPOW!!
"I give the Obama folks credit–they’ve tried mightily to shift the meaning of my original report. I learned last week that Republicans have a tape of Michelle in a racist rant. She does so while part of a panel discussion. I do not know where this occurred."
Report! Haha. That makes it OFFICIAL motherfuckers! Just ignore when i said numerous times it was at the Trinity Uniting Church alongside Louis Farrakhan?! No...wait...it was the Rainbow Coalition Conference with Khadijah Farrakhan!! Glad we straightened that one out.
"And the specific date is not known either. BuzzHill offered up his view earlier today but I have not confirmed one way or another."
I never ever EVER suggested that she said it on July 26th to July 1st 2004 at the Rainbow Coalition conference in Chicago!? And i never ever EVER gave HuzzBill the credit for "
breaking important news."
"At no time have I claimed to have the tape or promised to deliver said tape. In fact, I reported that Republicans working on behalf of McCain are desperate to keep this under wraps until Obama is formally nominated in August. Got it?"
Oh I got it. Though once again i'd suggest you made numerous implications, including your 0900 Breaking News nonsense that would naturally lead people to believe you actually HAD seen or gotten your hands on the tape. Why else would you make such a big deal out of what turned out to be nothing new and nothing you couldn't have released at the time of your announcement!? Surely you weren't hyping up nothing at all so as to keep the shit and the fucktard interest in it rolling downhill?! Say it ain't SO Flowb!
"So as trolls stagger by to taunt and provoke, have pity on them–they cannot read and are devoid of comprehension skills. I guess that’s why they are for Obama. Figures. Meanwhile, with or without said tape, we do know that the Obamas participated for almost 20 years in a church that espoused racism."
...Reverend (WEATHERMEN) Wright said stuff = Michelle (WHITEY) Obama said even WORSE stuff at some time (LOUIS FARRAKHAN) in some place i'm now being (AFRICA) non specific about because the internet is being mean to me. (HAMAS!)
"They supported the race baiter Jeremiah Wright with financial contributions. So enough of the pretense that they were attending a mainstream, vanilla, anodyne Christian church. Au contraire. Non. I believe my sources and believe the tape will appear after August and before November."
Gah! How can i retort?! I don't know the French for fucktard! Keep stepping back. And back and back until it's *poof* gone. What tape? I never said anything about a tape. *pfft* The fuck are you talking about, TAPE!? You must be an Obamatron...no comprehension skills. Typical.

Whitey Saga Gate IX...or ruh roh...we're fast running out of Bingo Bob's June 4th Bombshell Day!

June 4th 2008 - Hillbuzz updates Flowbee's only hope with some KEY, some would say OBVIOUS information.
"UPDATED: It seems really easy for Chicago local media, especially, to determine whether or not this is the right tape of Michelle Obama. All they need to do is pull the tape from this 2004 Conference (particularly the panel Michelle was on), which should be readily available (since this was a very large multi-day event). All a journalist needs to do is watch this tape: if this is not the right one, they'd know immediately and this issue would be debunked."
Good point! How about it MEDIA!? We're the ones who have just made a whole lot of shit up served fresh from our arses to you...YOU'RE the ones who need to debunk our fucktardery. Jesus...we're way too busy furiously searching the internet for the next BIG "controversial" person we can tenuously link to Barack Obama. WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR FACTS OR RESEARCH!!
"UPDATE #2: It's also being reported that ABC-7 news anchors moderated a panel at the Conference that appears to be the one Michelle Obama participated in."
*gasp!* But didn't you say earlier that it would be "
highly unlikely any mainstream press attended the Rainbow/PUSH Coalition's 33rd Annual Conference"? I mean it's pretty obvious with major key note speakers such as Bill Clinton, John Kerry, Howard Dean, Jesse Jackson and Bill "MOTHERFUCKING" Cosby etc?! the media sure would stay as far away as possible!!
"Once again, if ABC-7 does have tape from this panel discussion, they could solve this mystery today by releasing it all on their website -- particularly the 30 minutes or so of Michelle Obama speaking -- so we can see once and for all exactly what she said that day."
Because it's THAT important. Who knows, if she doesn't say "whitey" or "America hates Africa" she might say some OTHER whacky shit we can take out of context and over react to instead! COME ON ABC!!
"The ABC-7 anchors who moderated could also come out and definitively say what Michelle Obama said on the panel (or Michelle could come out herself and recount what she said). That would get to the bottom of this."
YES! What are you afraid of Michelle?! You should come out and debunk every peice of shit we can make up and throw your way otherwise you're guilty as CHARGED!! Also we're going to hold our breath till you do. So it will be YOUR fault if we fall over and slip into a coma from lack of oxygen to the brain and your fault that we won't see Hillaree coronated in our lifetimes. MISOGYNIST!

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Whitey Saga Gate VIII...or ladies and gentleman "WE'VE GOT HER!"

June 4th 2008 3:26am - 2 hours later June 4th lives up to it's Bingo Bob Bombshell reputation and the HILLBUZZ comes down the wire much to Flowbee's gay abandon! He can't CONTAIN himself!

Remember that photo we conveniently found yesterday? Well as it turns OUT we've got yet MORE circumstantial details about "THAT DAY" which we really really REALLY fucking hope is "THE day" otherwise we'll look like a bunch of retarded desperate hacks. BEHOLD!!
"I am not trying to steal thunder from HillBuzz. That blogger is breaking important news. I’m posting the article in full because, having seen what happened to our site, a link to his will kill his server with the flood of traffic. Until Sunday, I was operating on one server. We’re up to four and barely keeping pace."
Phew! It's fucking break neck pace emergency jounalism at the fortress of fucknuttery these days! THIS IS BIG!
"What’s on the Michelle Obama Rant Tape?
Here’s what’s known so far. The Michelle Obama Rant Tape was filmed between June 26th - July 1st 2004 in Chicago, IL at the Rainbow/PUSH Coalition Conference at Trinity United Church: specifically the Women’s Event."
Wait a conference at the TU Church? I thought you said it wasn't a rant from behind the pulpit Flowb? Oh...and as it turns out...a simple google search actually tells me it was at the Sheraton Chicago Hotel and Towers.

Confusing? Yes...but don't let flimsy things like Flowbee Facts get all up in your grill!

"Michelle Obama appeared as a panelist alongside Mrs. Khadijah Farrakhan and Mrs. James Meeks.

Bill Clinton spoke during the Conference, as did Bill Cosby and other speakers, but not at the panel Michelle attended."

DANG! Opportunity MISSED! I've heard Bill Cosby is a mean motherfucker on the camera. He would have made a great copy of the vid for sure lickety split! Just in case he needed to sabotage the presidential chances of Barack Obama in 4 years time to save it for Queen Hillary. That Bill Cosby, always thinking 3 steps ahead!
"Michelle Obama spoke at the Women’s Event, but referenced Bill Clinton in her rant — his presence at the conference was the impetus for her raving, it seems."
Raving! hahhah. So...Bill Clinton was there. And Michelle in her pants igniting terror speech was raving ABOUT Bill Clinton...and he never at any point found out about it? The wife of a would be senator on a screed about Bill Clinton never made the papers? Or at least was brought to his attention? You don't find that a bit implausible?
"For about 30 minutes, Michelle Obama launched into a rant about the evils of America, and how America is to blame for the problems of Africa. Michelle personally blamed President Clinton for the deaths of millions of Africans and said America is responsible for the genocide of the Tutsis and other ethnic groups."
Well if it was anything like Reverend Wright's "Goddamn America" speech which you know...swearsies and whacky aids related material aside was...well...TRUE. I'm still waiting for this to be "STUNNING!".
"She then launched into an attack on “whitey”, and talked about solutions to black on black crime in the realm of diverting those actions onto white America. Her rant was fueled by the crowd: they reacted strongly to what she said, so she got more passionate and enraged, and that’s when she completely loses it and says things that have made the mouths drop of everyone who’s seen this."
Jesus! Thats jaw dropping! So it wasn't the term "whitey" that made people lose their bowels afterall...it was SOMETHING ELSE?! And yet nobody has heard about this till now? Not Bill Clinton, not his aides? This was a pretty major event, Ex Presidents, current and ex presidential nominees, senator Edwards was there, Jesse Jackson, major community leaders and business people. You don't think this would have gotten some copy if it was so CRAZED and controversial? You don't at least think your new buddy Fox News would have snapped this sucker right up and put it on air as it happened?! Weird don't you think?

"The “tape” is a DVD that Trinity United sold on its website, and possibly offered free for download up until March 2008 when Trinity’s site was scrubbed and the DVDs were no longer offered for sale.

This outburst happened just one month before the 2004 Democratic Convention, when Barack Obama delivered the keynote address."

Wow! So it's also been readily available for sale and download for 4 years? Surely there are more copies out there than Karl Rove and John Mcain's secret versions? No? Not even You Tube has managed to track it down?! Thats pretty unbelievable don't you think?

I'd also just like to ask Hillbuzz, how you actually get to say "Here is what is known so far"? I mean...ol Lazza the lips raked his buddy Martin over the coals for interpreting what he thought might be a "transcript". And VERY convincingly called him a dumb ass and DEFIED him to finally release the magical imagination tape from his grip if indeed he wasn't a whiny little bitch and actually HAD the tape.

Yet here YOU are giving pretty solid details about the event. And your pal and mine Larry is CONFIDENT in your claims. From what you're telling us you sound like you've SEEN THE TAPE HILLBUZZ!!! WHY ARE YOU HOLDING OUT?! WHAT ABOUT HILARREEEEEEEE!?!?! Why do you hate the women of America?

Whitey Saga Gate VII...or operation Obamatrons STRIKE BACK..

June 4th 2008 1:26 AM - BINGO BOB'S BOMBSHELL DAY is upon us. And it starts with the Obama controlled internet making sure our hero's terrible video news is never released to the world less it tear the fabric of space time.
"Sorry about the problems accessing the site today. Part of the delay was caused by a deliberate attack. Most of the difficulty gaining access was a consequence of too much success. We have outstripped our servers’ ability to keep up"
Sorry guys...we're SO awesome we've broken ourselves. Also OBAMABOTS ARE HERE!!! THEY ARE IN THE HOUSE WITH YOU!! IN THE BACK SEAT OF YOUR CAR!! CIRCLING AND CLOSING IN!! BEWARE!!
"One consequence is the problem with “Comment” moderation and Spam. Some of you, for no apparent reason are getting consigned to that special part of hell. We are trying to rescue as time permits
No apparent reason I like to call "anyone not passing the HILLZ4LIFE smell test is BANNED".
"Then there are the Obamatrons efforts to attack this site. The following is typical. This guy sent at least 15 emails, using different addresses. But he used the same IP."
Yet the 5 samples you posted use the SAME email address and IP. Could it actually be some poor bastard posting the same message over and over because your stupid fucking comment system swallows the fucking thing and doesn't allow you to post again unless you change it slightly? No it couldn't be that...it's those pesky paid OBAMATRON HILL HATERZ. This is the third time you've had this problem mate and just like the first, it wasn't incompetent nonces not knowing what they were doing, no it's a CYBER HACK FROM RAMPANT OBAMABOTS!! Just like Joe Lieberman right?
"Folks confident of their candidate do not resort to panic and tactics like this
You're right. Which would probably explain also why it's highly unlikely they actually did.
"Thanks for the complement. We are in your head Senator and we plan to stay there. This is the reality–you are not qualified by experience or temperment to be President.
Doesn't have the temperament?! This from the lunatic who believes Senator Obama is a Muslim Manchurian candidate on the verge of enslaving the white race and turning the country into an Islamic theocracy. While simultaneously i might add allowing aging ex members of an urban boomer militant group to complete their endgame of blowing up the pentagon bathrooms FOR GOOD!
"We will do all we can to educate the electorate. Don’t be surprised that we will write some tough things about McCain’s character and temperment as well. We are beholden to no one."
So far...not so much. Is that why you're all voting for the old coot for the good of the COUNTRY!? Beholden to no one except of course...*cough*Hillaree*cough*.
"We choose to support Hillary and will continue to do so until the delegates actually vote."
And when they do? Like they actually already have? Oh thats right...Count Every Vote except the ones that aren't for her. Now THATS winning temperament!!

Whitey Saga Gate VI...or conveniently shaping our story around "evidence" as we find it!

June 3rd 2008 - SusanUnPc stops in again with DAMNING photo evidence of Michelle "Whitey" Obama and...wait for it...the WIFE of Louis Farakhan! Is this the bombshell? Have we finally tracked down the infamous event where the next first lady of America dropped some racial profanity so spectacular republican operatives who witnessed it shit their breeches?

Sure...why not. Well thats Flowbee's story and he's sticking to it! Unless of course this isn't "THAT DAY" and he needs to check with his mates again.

Susan fills us in by conveniently finding a photo of Michelle Obama appearing with a group of women we don't give a shit about and LOUIS FARAKHAN'S WIFE (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) at the conference our hero touted earlier. CONVENIENT!! It's coming together people! THE FUCKING SWORD OF DAMOCLES IS POISED!!!
"Check out one facet of BARACK OBAMA’s “inner circle” — most of the women shown here represent a hidden inner circle that has played important roles in getting him elected. The Nation of Islam is not just another neighborhood group. Is the Nation of Islam the next one slated to go under the bus?"
Maybe. But surely not until you harp on it, screech and point and flail about in ridiculous faux outrage so much so that he has too no doubt make some point of denouncing, rejecting and stabbing to death multiple times. Didn't he already do that in like February?!
Why is this important information i hear you ask!?
Because just remember guys as soon as he sets foot in the racist "WHITE" house it will have it's name changed to the "Head Nigga's Crib" and you and your beautiful pure children will be enslaved in underground sugar mines. FUCK! Better get these photos off to Hannity STAT you haven't sent him today's talking points yet Susan!
There was a time when Michelle Obama did not have a second thought about posing for a picture with the wife of an infamous anti-Semitic, black separationist leader. Is this the real Michelle?
According to you, yes.
"Most Americans would concede that a First Lady, regardless of political party, should not be hanging with the wife of Louis Farrakhan or the wife of David Duke. Is there room for associating with known racists, anti-Semites and homophobes?

Are we ready for a First Lady like Michelle Obama, who reportedly has shared the stage with Nation of Islam’s LOUIS FARRAKHAN and condemened white folks?"
David Duke? Wait...what? I thought David Duke hated black people?
I'm pretty sure we're ready for Michelle Obama...but maybe we should ask Hillaree's best mate Ed Rendell about how much he loves "associating with known racists, anti-Semites and homophobes". *gasp*
"We have until August to get the answers to these questions."
DENVER! DENVER!!

And just to re-iterate in case you were too a) Stupid, b) illiterate c) drunk, d) smart enough to realise this is all a load of bunk...
"OF NOTE: Larry Johnson has not SEEN the tape in question. Larry Johnson, however, has FIVE solid sources that this tape exists.

We also have the rampant speculation today on television and radio that the tape will come out tomorrow.

Stay tuned."

Oh i will be!

Whitey Saga Gate V...or Larry the liar...MOI?!

June 3rd 2008 - Still unable to comprehend exactly WHY a bunch of LEEEBRAL, Obama, Kool aid chugging bloggers and reasonable Hillary Clinton supporters are skeptical about the bunch of rumours he's tied together with tenuous hearsay, wild speculation and third hand "facts", Larry The Lips tells anyone who doesn't believe him that they're all really really fucking stupid...again.
"I never cease to be astonished by the base ignorance of the Obama crowd. They have spread the word claiming that I said I have the tape and was going to produce it. What? Nope. Nevr wrote that. They have a reading comprehension problem."
Take THAT you illiterate cocksuckers!
But it's pretty fair Flowb me ol pal, don't you think, to be skeptical? Considering the nature or your sources i mean? You of all people should know that, surely? How are you reconciling how lame your evidence is?
"While it is true I am relying on second hand sources, my immediate sources are trusthworty. They are not related to each other. They hold different political views. But all tell the same story–there is a tape of Michelle Obama appearing at a conference with Louis Farrakhan had she says some very disparaging things about white people."

The tape, I am told, appears to have been made in June 2004. It was not part of a pulpit service at Trinity. It was a conference. I am waiting for confirmation of the specific conference.
Oh...i see. So you're kinda betting your reputation (or whats left of it), your credibility (and whatever is left of that too) on a bunch of chinese whispers from "buddies". You know...cause you were pretty sure it was "whitey"before...and now it's just a bunch of "very disparaging things about white people." And now she was on a panel at a conference not Trinity from Reverend Wrights terrible pulpit? I'm not saying...i'm just saying. But go on...please continue.
"My sources tell me the Republicans who have the tape are hanging on to it and do not (I REPEAT FOR YOU OBAMA CLOWNS) DO NOT want it released now. They want to use it against Barky in the fall. They fear that releasing it now will kill Obama’s political support and open the door for Hillary."
But wouldn't they prefer to run against Hillz? I know Karl Rove is out there saying shes an unstoppable all conquering death machine that will win every single vote in the WORLD if she is the nominee...but who trusts that tubby fuck!? Oh...wait...YOU and your fucktard followers do.

CONUNDRUM!

You know...recent history would suggest Karl Rove is indeed a savvy political mind...but also one of the dirtiest Republican sleaze bags in Washington. A hatchet man who would say and do anything to fuck with the process, either by setting cats amongst the pigeons of the Democratic party, double speaking his arse to Timbuctoo or literally stealing elections for his bosses.

So do you really REALLY buy that he's on telly, ON FOX, everyday talking up a CLINTON? You honestly believe all of a sudden he and his right wing mouth pieces who, i might add not even 6 months ago, were calling her a murderer, a corrupt bitch and smearing her and the Clinton name nightly, have had some sort of epiphany and a change of heart? All of a sudden they're so enamoured with Hillz that you think they're keen to tell the TRUTH about her? Thats pretty far fetched mate.

You don't think it's got anything to do with the fact it would be easier for them to run their same old dirty tricks campaign? Easier to rally their nutbag anti Clinton base against someone they've been waiting and planning to run against since the husband they hated even more left office 9 years ago?!

No?
"And now we have Beckel and Fund claiming a tape exists and is coming out tomorrow. Would be nice but I don’t know. What I do know for a fact is that the folks who control the tape want to keep it on ice until after the Democratic convention in Denver."
Okay. Well...I guess you really ARE supposed to be the smart one here.

Whitey Saga Gate IV...Fox news intermisson + Hilaree validation!!!

June 3rd 2008 -
SusanUnPC hammers another nail in the imaginary coffin of Barack "mysoginist" Obama. She deftly weaves a tale of Fox News pundits telling spooky stories of imaginary tapes in the form of "BOMBSHELLS!!" being dropped TOMMOROW!! (HOLY SHIT THAT WOULD BE the 4th of JUNE GUYS!!)
"John Fund of the Wall Street Journal was on Laura Ingraham’s show this morning, talking about the bombshell, according to our own No Quarter author Bud White. Bob Beckel, Democratic analyst for Fox News, reported on TV already that a “bombshell” is coming out tomorrow"
Because as we know...as Fox news goes...SO GOES THE NATION! Or at least the NQ Fortress of Fucktardery.
"John Fund: Wall Street Journal - “Indeed, rumors are swirling on the campaign trail that a new video will soon surface featuring Mrs. Obama appearing on a panel with radical speakers during which she makes more controversial statements."
AIIEEEEE!! So it's still rumours...but STILL...FOX NEWS! LAURA INGRAHAM! BASTIONS OF TRUTH!!

But Wait there is MORE!
"Bob Beckel on Fox and Friends - he has been told by numerous people,(enough and in a way that convinced him) that a bombshell will be dropping tomorrow about Michele Obama. The Friends turned white and asked what it might be…was it worse than a college thesis? Bob said "Oh yes, in a BIG way". He said that the Repubs were behind it and it was dumb because it meant that Mrs. Clinton would be the nominee.
At which point Susan cannot contain her excitement at validation from Fox and their Friends -
"READ THAT ONE AGAIN: “it meant that Mrs. Clinton would be the nominee …”
AIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! The fucktards follow suit and rend their garments in self satisfaction. Maybe Mcain can win this thing YET!
SusanUnPc - "THIS, to me, is especially stunning because Bob Beckel, in all of his analyst appearances on Fox News, has clearly been “in the tank” for Barack Obama. If HE concedes that this finishes Barack Obama, that is very telling."

Where's the beef?!

Whitey Saga Gate III...or debunking the debunkers debunked!

June 2nd, 2008 9:23 PM - An hour and a bit later and still furiously upset that nobody either believes him or is terribly impressed with his 0900 BREAKING NEWS, Flowbee tells it like it is and rips apart the Obamatron Blogosphere with his bare hands! Or more specifically Martin Longman at Booman Tribune...who appears to be a bit tearful that he's no longer friends with an insane person who probably knows how to kill him from 50 yards with a piece of chewing gum and a paper clip.

The odd debunking "why'd he" transcript is debunked by what can only be described as incredibly powers of debunkery.
"Martin, buddy. It ain’t a smear when it is true."
Oh. Well in that case...CASE. CLOSED!
"I have made it clear all along that I do not have the tape but have spoken with good friends who know folks who have seen the tape."
Get with the program motherfucker! A friend of a friend's, lawyer's, Republican operative buddy has SEEN it and they've said it's so fucking amazing their faces melted like Nazis in Raiders. Therefore CASE. MOTHERFUCKING. CLOSED!
"Martin, I have never, ever claimed to have the tape or stated that I was going to post same. I also have made it clear that the folks surrounding McCain want to keep this quiet until after August."
I never SAID i had the tape...i just implied i did by making a big deal out of some BREAKING NEWS at 0900 MONDAY!
It's not my fault that even my followers of fucktardery logically took the step that making some big tadoo announcement would lead people to speculate i had the video. Or maybe that I had finally seen it or at the least that I would have something WORTHY of my big breaking news pronouncement. Stick THAT in your pipe and smoke it.
"I also find it fascinating that Martin is part of the Obama blog force. Me, I’m not on the Hillary mailing list. Don’t need it. Capable of thinking for myself. Martin, you got played by your boys. Transcript indeed!"
Oooh SNAP!! Would you like some cheese with your whine MARTIN?! CASE. CLOSED!

Whitey Saga Gate II...or just give us another week we're pretty sure we can patch something controversial together...

June 2nd 2008 6:49 PM - Annoyed that the WORLD doesn't believe his pathetic rumour mongering, Flowbee goes on the ATTACK and laughs at the poor confused reality based community that likes a little evidence with it's wild tenuous allegations.

But making shit up has never stopped him before so with the "FACT" the Obama campaign controls the internet up his sleeve he announces that -
"The Obama campaign is telling reporters from major news organizations that the videotape of Michelle Obama railing against “whitey” at a panel alongside Nation of Islam maximum leader Louis Farrakhan is nothing but a “scurrilous lie,” according to one of those reporters who called for an answer."
"But at the same time the Obama campaign has disseminated either a doctored or concocted transcript of the supposedly nonexistent videotape. Major Obama donors went to the campaign demanding explanations after the posting of my story on No Quarter about the contents of the videotape confirmed to me by several reliable sources, all Republicans with access to knowledge but who do not know each other."
Of course he doesn't actually provide any links, actual quotes, evidence or even tell us where he got this information. He just says it. THEREFORE IT MUST BE TRUE.
But then...just to make it even MORE plausible...he drops the ace of spades! OBAMA CONTROLS ALL INFORMATION AND INTERNETS!
"So the campaign created a would-be transcript of the video it says doesn’t exist. In the Obama campaign produced transcript Michelle says “why’d he” instead of “whitey.” Very clever. Then the campaign sent this transcript to key Obamaton bloggers to circulate. And the campaign sent it to the donors to prevent them from having a nervous breakdown."
I have seen this "transcript" on a couple of blogs since Saturday, Kos and Booman specifically, and i'm not really sure of it's origins. My first impression was it was less a transcript of a "racist video from imagination land that doesn't exist" and more someone interpreting what she may have said if she said anything at all.

I will give this to Flowbee though - It's certainly odd that people would be claiming to have intimate knowledge of a transcript for something they haven't seen...
Oh...wait...thats actually what YOU'RE doing too.
I'd also suggest it's no more peculiar than the fact that you and your fucktards still claim Obama flipped the bird at Hillary during a speech, you and your fucktards have become cheerleaders and BFF with far right wing nutbags and you're now embracing the likes of Larry Sinclair and his debunked back seat limo bullshit. But desperation makes for desperate bedfellows i suppose.

He goes on -

"In other words, the Obama campaign is a two-faced operation, telling the national press one thing and using eager little bloggers as propaganda stooges. But now they’ve been caught in obvious dirty trickery. Will the press play along? The Obamaton bloggers who happily allowed themselves to be exploited have exposed themselves as just junior media whores."
Yeah except you still haven't actually linked us to any evidence of your first claim and the whole bloggers thing? Well...i know you guys believe there is some sort of top secret conspiracy where the Obama campaign is paying people to "troll" pro Hillary blogs and "make nicey"...but the only evidence i've ACTUALLY seen of anything like that was from...well...HILLARY!! (*gasp*)

To back up his bullshit and to stick it to the naysayers we then get another 3 paragraphs conflating a whole lot of talking points - He's behind in the polls, he quit his church, he's going to lose Montana and South Dakota, Father Pfleger is white but still scary, we know why he "engaged in his thuggery at the Rules and Bylaws Committee, stealing delegates in Michigan that rightfully belonged to Hillary" and to REALLY ram home the fucktardery...
"Then, out of further desperation, Obama spread a false story that Hillary was dropping out. He’s doing everything he can before the vote in South Dakota and Montana to try to depress Hillary’s turnout. Obama’s Big Lie has worked before. To listen to Obama Hillary has been dropping out since the beginning of the campaign."

Where do you even begin?

And to round it all out and to PROVE THAT THE TAPE DOES EXIST!! -
"And behind all this is Obama’s fear of the Michelle “whitey” video about which he’s spreading two different stories–one to the mainstream press and another to his blogger-stooges. Lies, lies and more lies."

Lies indeed.

Monday, June 2, 2008

The Whitey Saga Gate...or how to start a rumour and let your fucktards do the work for you...

May 16th 2008 - Larry "Flowbee"Johnson floats rumour from two, three, four sources who know other sources who have seen a tape of Michelle Obama "railing against “whitey” at Jeremiah Wright’s church".

The Fortress of Fucknuttery goes nuts. The magical imagination tape of doom is commented into existence.

May 17th 2008 - Johnson makes claim that a very very rich super ultra conservative billionaire who hates John Mcain, hates Barack Obama but conveniently can learn to love Hillary Clinton wants to pay whoever HAS the tape ONE MEEELION dollars for it. He wants to pre-empt Mcain and Karl Rove getting their hands on it before they ruin everything for Hillary by hiding it in a super secret location. All of this information was received from a "major Republican operative".

However one sentence later TOO LATE! Karl and his clever minions control it already. And they're showing it around to lots of buddies and 527's with the cash to make anti obama swiftboat ads. That Karl Rove! Machiavellian!

Another friend of Flowbee, has yet another friend who has seen the tape. This friend says the video is "STUNNING". Most likely not, I imagine, because of the production values. This person is also a lawyer so that clearly means he's not full of shit.

Fucknuttery ensues in the comments.

May 19th 2008 - Obama freaks the fuck OUT starts calling people names and makes unspecified threats in an interview for ABC’s "Good Morning America". Sane people see Barack Obama stand up for his wife and calmly, sternly not take any shit from dumb arse smear tactics. Flowbee sees an "extraordinary freakout".

All of this we're made to THINK is in response to a Tennessee Republicans attack ad suggesting Michelle Obama isn't proud enough of her country.
What we DON'T realise (and thankfully Flowbee is onto it) is that in reality it's because Senator Obama is worried about the magical imagination tape of doom coming down the pipe.
"Obama, speaking on ABC’s “Good Morning America” showed fear through his name-calling: “If they think that they’re gonna try to make Michelle an issue in this campaign, they should be careful. Because, that I find unacceptable. … The notion that you start attacking my wife or my family — you know, Michelle is the most honest, the best person I know. She is one of the most caring people I know. She loves this country. And for them to try to distort or to play snippets of her remarks in ways that are unflattering to her I think is … just low class.”
Can't you just smell the fear in that incredibly calm, reasonable justified response?!

Meanwhile -
Karl Rove and his boys STILL have the tape and are STILL shopping it around to 527's (Though apparently NOT the Tennessee Republicans). The Republican Billionaire is still trying to hunt it down and still hates Mcain and Obama.
But the tantalizing cliffhanger that will make us definetly come back next week is "Does BARACK OBAMA have a copy of the video?!" Dun DUN DUUUUUUN!!!
In a stunning bit of fuzzy logic Flowbee explains -
"We know that he knows that his wife knows. The video really does exist. If we have to wait until October to see it, Obama might explode before then from the tension."
So Obama responding to an ACTUAL Republican attack ad video means that the Imagination Tape Of Doom MUST be real and we now know that he (Sen. Obama) knows that she (Michelle Obama) knows. What i'm she or he knows i'm not sure...

The tension makes fucknuttery in the comments section explode. Barack Obama goes on to win Oregon convincingly and puts himself well within reach of the delegate target required.

26th of May 2008 - So far 4 unnamed "Republican operatives" have "friends" who have seen the tape. An unnamed friend's lawyer has seen it and claimed it was "STUNNING!", an ultra conservative Billionaire (who knows about it but hasn't seen it and who may or may not be the republican version of George Soros) is after it with $1 million before Karl Rove can get it but apparently Karl Rove has it and is flashing it about to all his well moneyed mates.

All of this for Flowbee makes it a "FACT" that "Barack and Michelle Obama would like the tape of her blasting “whitey” during a rant at Jeremiah Wright’s church to never see the light of day."

There is ONE thing however we can all apparently be certain of and that is "the tape will hit the blogosphere and TV land come October if Obama is the nominee." Oggidy boogidy!

"But how do you KNOW flowbee??" i ask...

Flowbee looks up from furiously bashing at his typewriter with the tv on it.
"I have learned from someone in touch with a senior Republican over this holiday weekend that a major McCain backer has a copy of the tape in addition to the one controlled by the Karl Rove folks." he responds with a sense of self righteous all knowing confidence.

"Good grief!" I blurt, "ANOTHER unnamed senior Republican?! And now MCCAIN has a copy!? But what about Hillz?! And the Billionaire!?"

He twitches, sips his luke warm coffee and looks back past his shoulder to the single boarded up window before conspiratorially leaning in close and holding my gaze "McCain’s supporters are not about to cut Hillary a break. They believe that John McCain stands a better chance of beating Barack rather than Hillary. That’s why they are holding the video. They realize showing it now would likely boost support for Hillary and erode support for Obama among the Super Delegates.

I hesitate and wonder if i should bring up the flaw in his logic, why would Karl Rove be working against Mccain in shopping the tape around, when Mcain's people are at opposite ends. Instead i mutter..."but...what does it mean?"

He smiles...turns back to his tired dinosaur of a computer and says "Simply put, McCain wants Obama."

Stunned, i sit back in the filthy pleather couch attempting to avoid the spring protruding through the upholstery. I think for a moment, then can't hold it in any longer.

"But, but...what you're saying makes no sense. If the rethugs want to run against Obama why would Karl Rove, the shrewdest, most ruthless Republican political operative in modern american political history be out there on every Fox News show talking up Hillz? He even has an electoral map that the Clinton campaign has used to prove that shes unbeatable for gods sake! Why would he risk the tape being leaked now by passing it out to his moneyed buddies if he doesn't want it to drop until the GE? Doesn't that fly in the face of what the Mccain people want? You think he's flipped sides? He's working AGAINST Mccain? And as for the Billionaire the ultra conservatives cannot stand the Clintons. They HATE THEM. You don't think any ill feeling they would have towards Mccain would absolutely NO doubt be put aside to solidify the base and beat a Clinton? Why on earth would an ultraconservative Billionaire want to fork over a million bucks to ostensibly give her the Presidency? It makes no sense Flowb. I'm not buying it."

He looks up again and instead of answering my question starts babbling about how angry Michelle Obama is.

"Here’s Michelle–living in a $1.6 million dollar home, graduate of America’s most prestigious universities, and pulling a six-figure salary–and she was not proud of the United States until Barack ran for President."

"I think you're missing the point of what she was sayin..." I start before he cuts me off.

"Know what? The average angry, bitter white person. who is clinging to God and guns and not living in a mansion, not able to afford college, and making less than $50,000 a year, does not know what her damn problem is."

Raising my voice, a little annoyed, i fire back..."Jesus christ are you hearing yourself? She came from the South Side of Chigago man! Shes the epitomy of the American dream. Rags to riches, nothing to something...all on her own two feet. Shes not speaking AT these people mate shes speaking TO them, as someone who has made it. As someone who KNOWS what it's like on that side of the tracks. To know hopelessness and ignorance. Yet the dream IS achievable. Shes saying look at me! The man will get you down, and force you down and divide you and try to conquer you but hope, hard work, community it can get you anywhere."

He flashes a sneer and dismisses me with the wave of a hand as if to say "There is no telling you anything".

I don't let up. "You still haven't answered any of my questions and instead you fly off the handle again. I'm not sure what your actual problem is with her Flowbee, but much like this "tape" nonsense it feels completely like some sort of knee jerk rumour mongering stemming from a pretty dark place of hate for her husband. Which i might add seems to be a mixture of some sour grapes over him beating Hillz, a little bit of racism, a bizzare bunch of mixed up re-enactments and minimization of every civil rights movement in history and a whole lot of entitlement. This isn't a freakin monarchy guy! I'm neither seeing it or buying it."

Getting in my face and forcing me by the arm to the door, he vigorously opens it and shoves me out. He points towards the main exit and with a manic look in his eye screams.
"Michelle needs an attitude adjustment! Americans don’t want a nattering nabob of negativism in their face for the next four years. And that will become increasingly clear as America gets to know Michelle.

He slams the door in my face.

May 31st 2008 - BREAKING NEWS! The Fortress goes into fucknut overload as King Flowbee promises "New and dramatic developments. This is a heads up. I’ll post the news Monday morning by 0900 hours (Thats 9AM for the non CIA affiliated plebs)."

The world can't wait. The internet buzz i suspect our hero Flowbee was hoping for goes into overdrive. He implies he's seen the tape by suggesting he only NOW knows why "people who have seen the videotape say it is stunning."
Monday morning cannot come quick enough for the fucktards...surely THIS is it. Finally...the one true fork that will be stuck in Obama!! He's DONE!

June 1st 2008 - Bud White, Ex Police Officer and NQ Fucktard #12, lends credence and and weight to the mystery with a "magical imagination tape intermission".

An intermission that essentially goes something like "Roger Stone has heard about the tape from several unnamed "news" organizations, who have been in touch with him asking if HE has heard of it. And because he hasn't, he learns more about it from them asking him about it, so therefore it MUST BE REAL!!" AIIIEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

That would be the Roger Stone responsible for the anti hillary hate group - C.U.N.T. (Clearly only misogynist if Barack Obama is at least 10 degrees seperated from it).
And as Bud points out...much like the Ultra Conservative Billionaire, Roger Stone, all of a sudden conveniently loves Hillz!
Why? Well because shes playing with a deck of kitchen sink politics right out of Roger's dirty tricks bag.
"Stone detests Hillary Clinton’s politics but admires her pugnacity. He wrote recently on his Web site, an erratically updated collection of observations called Stonezone.com, “I must admit she has demonstrated true grit and Nixonian-like tenacity in the face of adversity.” Stone particularly admires Clinton’s attempt to hang the “elitist” tag on Barack Obama. “It’s a good idea,” he said."
It must be LOVE! At least thats what Bud thinks - "That hate for elitists might just be why this political insider is going after Obama."

YEAH! Cause the guy who just paid off his college fees, worked for the poor on the south side of Chicago and lived for a time as a kid in a 3rd world country is the elitist. The woman who is a former first lady, earned a combined 109 million dollars in the last 8 years and comes from the Rodham family fortune is blue collar to the bone, I sure am glad Roger Stone is ON THE CASE!!
"Although it’s unclear how much involvement Stone had in outing Spitzer, he clearly is corroborating what Larry Johnson has been reporting on for weeks"
CLEARLY!

June 2nd 2008 - 0900 hours arrives! And with it the breaking news the internet has been waiting for. Somewhere along the way, probably because he himself implied it and the fucktards in all their glory went with it, Flowbee's "Breaking News" turned into "Flowbee has tape, is releasing, or at least has transcript, or maybe is re-enacting with interpretive gypsy folk dance BYO fork!"

Alas 120 NQ Hillz hearts shattered into 17 million pieces and the majority of the car crash watching blogsphere started laughing incredulously when the clock finally ticked over and Flowbee revealed ALL -
"I learned over the weekend why the Republicans who have seen the tape of Michelle Obama ranting about “whitey” describe it as “STUNNING.” I have not seen it but I have heard from five separate sources who have spoken directly with people who have seen the tape."

"It features Michelle Obama and Louis Farrakhan. They are sitting on a panel at Jeremiah Wright’s Church when Michelle makes her intemperate remarks. Whoops!!"
Whoops indeed! So we still haven't seen the tape. There are now 5 unnamed people who have apparently all spoken to other unnamed people who have all seen the tape. And now it's not just that she said "WHITEY" in some race screed that will make the poor widdle powerless white man's ears bleed in horror, no, shes now sitting next to everyone's favourite code for Black Hate/White enslavement, Louis Farakhan.

Jesus H Christ on a bicycle Flowbee...this is DYNAMITE! If only it were true. But it doesn't really NEED to be true does it? No...all it needs to be is a whisper campaign filled with enough plausible details and information so as to make it seem legitimate. We've already twisted Michelle Obama's words about her pride in the nation, we've got now TWO whacky preachers saying scary insulting stuff at the same church, we've got the "Obama is a muslim" meme out there already, we've got the "he hates white people" meme, the "elitist" meme and the "he and the big bad evil DNC are stealing everything from women and our girl Hillz just when she was so close and it was rightfully hers" meme!

So here's an idea...why the fuck don't we put that ALL in one big awesome imaginary video tape that ticks all these boxes and then we'll stick the arch nemesis himself in there, Louis Farakhan, just in case the plebs don't get it and aren't afeared enough already. Then...over a three week period we drop essentially the same story every few days with little bits added for authenticity, Karl Rove, a Billionaire, secretive republican operatives, a bobble head validating it on television, friends of friends and then let the gossipy nature of the internet do the work for us.

Job done.

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Why does Barack Obama hate American holidays?!

While the god fearing all American Clinton and Mccain campaigns are telling you over and over and over again that Reverend Wright is in no way experienced, patriotic or Christian enough (in the right way) to be President...they're also trying to pull a fast one with their proposal for a "gas tax holiday".

Clinton has been repeating on the stump in North Carolina "My opponent, Senator Obama, opposes giving consumers a break, I understand the American people need some relief."

Who wouldn't want some relief? And who wouldn't want a holiday? Holidays are FUN! Why does Barack Obama hate American holidays?!

Actually what senator Obama opposes is possibly the stupidest piece of legislative political pandering and short sighted vote grabbing we've seen this year. What Senator Obama is opposing is legislation that does nothing but put more money into the coffers of Big Oil (Yes, that would be the same big oil this gas tax holiday is supposedly penalizing). Legislation that not even one expert thinks is smart policy. Legislation that does nothing but encourage more people to drive during the busiest driving season of the year (thereby increasing carbon ommisions and harming the environment just that little bit more...) and ultimately legislation that does nothing but put chump change in the consumers pocket.

And thats pretty much what Senators Clinton and McCain are banking on...chumps to vote for cutting off their nose, again, for chump change.

Thomas Friedman not only nails it...he outlines how such short term back slapping nonsense has been and will be responsible for even bigger problems in the future.

"But here’s what’s scary: our problem is so much worse than you think. We have no energy strategy. If you are going to use tax policy to shape energy strategy then you want to raise taxes on the things you want to discourage — gasoline consumption and gas-guzzling cars — and you want to lower taxes on the things you want to encourage — new, renewable energy technologies. We are doing just the opposite."

Quote of the day...


On the question of a three-month gas tax holiday -

"John McCain started –he made the proposal. Then Hillary Clinton said, ‘Me too,'" Obama said just now in Winston-Salem, NC.

"It would last for three months and it would save you, on average, half a tank of gas," he said. "That’s what Senator Clinton and Senator McCain are proposing to deal with the gas crisis. $25 to $30. Half a tank of gas."

"This is the problem with Washington. We are facing a situation where oil prices could hit $200 a barrel. Oil companies like Shell and BP just reported record profits for the quarter. And we're arguing over a gimmick to save you half a tank of gas over the course of the entire summer so that everyone in Washington can pat themselves on the back and say that they did something," he said.

"This isn't an idea designed to get you through the summer, it's an idea designed to get them through an election..."
Barack Obama -
Winston-Salem, NC. 29/4

Tuesday, April 29, 2008



82 year old Jean Weiss in one moment of pure distilled honesty and openess sweeps away all the bullshit. All the cynicism, punditry, 24 hr news cycle nonsense and reminds America (and the world) that everything just might turn out to be okay after all.

"
Don't hit on Hillary, bring us all back, let her do that stuff. Leave her alone, you don't need to do that, you are higher than that. Bring us up higher than that."